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so. here is your moment to shine.   
09:56pm 16/09/2004
  it's pathetic that others'
behavior affects me so much
just be simple
and hold my hand
just be simple
and fall in love
for love is all we need.
The only thing in the world
worth
fighting for
dying for
crying over
hoping for
wishing for
waiting for
and wanting
is
simple
for nothingis more simplistic
than
l
o
v
e
.
 
     Read 7 - Post
 
i fall into you; now you're gracefully falling away.   
09:24pm 16/09/2004
 
mood: crushed




.i.hate.today.

-school..it's school..what do you expect?
-cool. i had to run an effing mile
-work.. the most frustrating day ever
-i looked too icky to be alive
-I thought Crumbs would be amazing..
-Crumbs was so very not amazing.. i got nothing accomplished except getting myself very upset... very upset
-not excited at all about hc anymore
-I still have a paper to write. fuck.
-of course i'm setting my creepy self up for disappointment again.. good idea hail- great idea.
-this is the worst it's been in a long time.. i hate how such small things bring about such strong feelings.. one of those weeks where everything makes you want to cry; and every time you smile you feel like you're lying.


.on.the.up-side.

-i got to see ryan krease :)
-i heard amazing music today
-i got to see my sarah sue
-Earl Grey Tea.. *
















...i.hate.today...*







"Now we're saying aloud the things
we've declared in our silence.
That new coats of paint
will not reacquaint broken <3s
to broken homes."



















































.d.o.n.t.t.h.i.n.k.
.a.b.o.u.t.m.e.n.d.i.n.g.
.t.h.i.s.h.e.a.r.t
























<3

 
     Read 1 - Post
 
you can't continue being so lovely all the time................*   
04:25pm 15/09/2004
 
mood: uncomfortable



-school
-homecoming is all worked out and planned and perfect.
-still no homecoming date. c-o-o-l
-grams came over after school
-my dress is superb! ohgosh! i <3 it..
to pieces
-it's perfect
-homeworked
-forgot my biology binder so i guess won't get a headstart on that. l-a-m-e



-give me some reasons why i should go to the show instead of the football game friday. Do i have a ride?













"questions of science
science and progress
do not speak as loud as my <3"













































boop boop be doop.
<3



 
     Read 7 - Post
 
...the sun hails in radiance to your smile...   
07:24pm 13/09/2004
 
mood: full


Today:
-meh
-school
-i became severely bitter by first hour.
-we wandered the school searching for a homecoming date for the hailey enszer
-almost got a work out in conditioning
-shane wandered saginaw looking for SVHS
-got home around 3
-did all of biology and civics.. le suck
-went to din with the gram= not too bad
-home. so very full. yerk.
-i CAN'T wait until THURSDAY! yum!
-gregums called.. i <3 him so much
-i need to talk to el sarah sue because i havn't talked to her in 21 hours. I am becoming bitter.
- i <3 shawn hodgins
-mumsy and el deano` will be arriving back to the abode tonight. thank goodness

-i miss my mumsy




















i need a date to homecoming.




























"you've got my on my knees laila
beggin baby baby please laila."






























<3

 
     Read 9 - Post
 
only you can make my <3 beat faster and slower at the same time   
05:06pm 12/09/2004
 
mood: tired






Friday night was fun..
-Blaker picked me up.. met sarah and bearis at the red eye.
-went to the show
-emily, sarah and i walked to 7-11 and just because they have defective slurpees we got yelled at and we got a time limit to be in the 7-11.. that lady is such a bitch and i am writing bad about her in my journal. Screw her, i hope she gets a million mosquito bites.
-ali met us there with matthew
-sarah and chelsea came
-good show.. good people
-texan.. nick was there
-brandon and greg scared he hell out of me
-dropped matthew off.. went to ali's

yesterday was nice:
-woke up at ali's
-showered and such
-brandon, greg and blake picked us up
-went to my home to change clothes
-drove to memphis
-$10 show (holy poop!)
-Tony (yay!) came with the BCK's (YAY!)
-i <3 seeing the Bay City kids.. yummy!
-that show was so amazing.. not just the bands but how it shows music brings people together and it makes people to do the most insane things.. the cops came and Blood In Blood Out played louder and even people who don't dance danced.. just to show how hard it'd be to shut the show down.
-All I wanted to do was go sleep in Tony's bed..but of course..i had to go home..
-The car ride home from the show was one of the best car rides i've ever experienced.. I love my friends and i love how our dry humor is so excellent.
-Ali and Blake got dropped off and Brandon and Gregums dropped me off
-They came in to check for monsters with me (i was going to be home alone).. and we all ended up hanging out here until about 4.. mom was totally cool about me being 2 hours late for curfew. i <3 her




today:
-woke up and cut the grass around 12:30
-showered
-went to gram's to work on my dress
-came back home because my broha is too sick to be here alone.. maybe meningitis.
-i need to do homework
-i need to sleep
-i need to see him before i cry
- i am sick of my brother being so sick all the fucking time. He expects everyone to take care of him and to revolve their lives around him. The simplest tasks that he's perfectly capable of doing get done for him because hes so manipulative and makes everyone feel bad for him. Fuck that. I'm not doing anything. I have my own problems to worry about.

















"And if her plane crashes tonight
she'll find some way to dissappoint me
if not burning in the wreckage
but my drowning at the bottom of the sea."





"oh my god! If we crash into the barriers and die just because i am trying to escape the noise i will seriously become so bitter! I don't see the noise, i think it's chasing the car! What the hell! I don't understand.. why is the noise only on certain parts of the road! I am becoming so bitter!"


"This one time i put an entire package of red laces in my mouth at once, and i was chewing them for 45 minutes. It was so sad."



















<3



 
     Read 6 - Post
 
"i'm not the sort of person who falls in and quickly out of love; but for you.."   
08:30pm 09/09/2004
 
mood: peaceful



school.. meh

work.. meh

it might be the most disappointing thing in the world when looking at the clock i thought it was 5 o'clock and i was packing up to leave work.. then i looked again and it was four.. eh. ::tear::

Went to the Red Eye to work on some homework and meet Sarah, Sarah and Alison

I chatted with the lovely miss emily

I lost five dollars (uh. shucks!)

When the girls got there we sat for about 10 minutes then went to crumbs.

Sarah Smalley, Kailey and John came in..

Andrew played for a bit (SUCH an excellent surprise) he is absolutely amazing.. i got goosebumps. The playlist was flawless

I got my homework done..

I am home

Thinking I am going to go to Crumbs every day after school/work from now on. Especially Thursdays.

Friday is tomorrow (at last)
















"Our love was comfortable and
so broken in"































<3



 
     Read 7 - Post
 
And you say 'm a dreamer.. but i'm not the only one   
02:50pm 07/09/2004
 
mood: bored


yesterday was nice

cookout

red eye with scott and sarah

it was very nice seeing scott again.

I got to see Chadon and Miss Emily

Very nice chatting with Miss Smalley

got into a fight with madre.. horrible

school supplies. mm hm
(dinosaur stickers included.. YES!)

Ali and i cleared things up. love her

I saw the lovely nicholas yesterday

I got home and wasn't feeling the best

I havn't been feeling the best lately.. very long and upset a lot.. i don't know what's going on but i've never been so lonely before..

I talked to Bear for a bit- he is truely lovely... Such a doll; and we are going to have a coloring club.

Today was the first day of school..
meh.. not as exciting as usual.. l.a.m.e.

I got in the car to receive Jim's birthday present.. so excited because usually i get something extravagant from Coach or Nieman Marcus.. it was a Nieman Marcus bag and guess what it is..

a f.u.c.k.i.n.g UGG purse..
could you please make me throw up
in my mouth
how disgusting could you get
who the hell does he think i am
gosh.. my stomach is churning







"i will never se the sky the same way
and i will learn to say goodbye to yesterday
and i will never cease to fly if held down
and i will always reach too high cause i've seen
twilight."























<3
 
     Read 5 - Post
 
can't.you.see.can't .you.see.that.the.charade.is.over....   
10:14pm 05/09/2004
 
mood: depressed




after everyone departed from my home i layed around for a while.. then nicholas picked me up around 5:30.

Nicholas picked me up a leonardo key chain. perfect timing.. etch-a-sketch broke yesterday ::tear::

we went to the mall

best buy.. purchased the wrong dashboard CD (fucking kill me..damnit!)

slurpees

on the way to miss J's we realized we should have gotten her a slurp s well.. so we turned around and got her one

finally arrived at miss J's

All went to Sag8 to meet sarah and ali

saw wicker park (VERY confusing.. amazing nonetheless).. cried and the whole bit

dropped jessick off

nicholas proved to me there is a schust

arrived home about 15 minutes ago

called sarah sue.. no response. worried














"so just come over
we'll dance
and we'll cry
and you whisper lovely things to me
and you'll fill my heart with lies
and we'll pretend
everything will be perfect forever
we'll pretend forever exists
and we'll laugh
and we'll cry
and we'll kiss under the stars
as i fall for you
put your spell on me
i need something to believe in."














<3
 
     Read 4 - Post
 
you always manage to empty my heart.. just fill it up with lies again; cause my heart can't run on e   
01:02pm 05/09/2004
 
mood: blah



yesterday:

woke up, showered, got ready

malled with chelsea

Ali and Tony were working

met greg and mike there

charlie and jocelyn showed up

bought make up

saw laura, kevin and alex

saw kaitlin and alex

blake and alexis met us there

left with blaker and alexon so ceck on the old town art show.. ver nice. props to ashley

went to the red eye.. very relaxing

saw miss A.

nice talk with blakums

jess and lalala came

drew, zack, jeremy and matt came

bear and lola met us there around 9

all went to Tony's:
Alison
Chelsea
Sarah
Bear
Lola
Greg
Mike
Charles
Jocelyn
Jeremy
Matt
Zack
Drew
Rick
Lawrence
Lawrence's friends (2)
and I

I have never wanted to cuddle so bad in my entire life. didn't get to. eff

came home around 2

everyone fell asleep

chelso left

I just got very burnt by steam

awake.. Ali is getting ready

I'm fixin' on going to the gym in a bit

if anyone has any idea for what to do tonight... ring me









"i wear my sunglasses at night
so i can
(so i can)
keep trapped up visions in my eyes."





*bella

 
     Read 3 - Post
 
come lie down, and we'll cover ourselves with this blanket of stars   
11:28pm 03/09/2004
 
mood: sleepy


yesterday was very lame and depressing

today sarah and i woke up, then i showered

i was so hungry i could feel the acid of my body eating my organs and muscle away

so i ate cereal

sarah and i went to the mall at 2

bought a top for my homecoming dress

met Alex 5's at the mall

saw too many people from school

went to JoAnn fabrics to get material for my homecoming dress

spent WAY too much $$$ today.. very lame

came home

sewing machine is very frustrating..

ruined the corset...kill.me.immediately

sahara came over

sarah sue left

sarah and i chatted for a long while

sahara's fath came to get her and i met kahrma (wilmer)

bored












"everyone's tryin' to get it right
(get it right)
everybody's workin' for the weekend
everybody wants a new romance
everybody's goin' off the deep end
everybody needs a second chance"










<3
bella

 
     Read 6 - Post
 
i can't get away from you even through slumber. When i sleep i dream about you   
09:38am 02/09/2004
 
mood: optimistic



yesterday: more yick than yum

woke up..

layed around all day.. but not relaxing at all

went to din with the fath around 5:45 to applebees

got VERY full because i wasn't hungry.. le suck

congregated with nick for a bit

alexander helped me pick out a homecoming dress.. gracias senor

fell asleep early.. around 11:30

now i'm at work drinking my chai..oh how i <3 thee

today: yum so far

I GOT MY SEWING MACHINE!!!!!! YES YES YES!!!!!
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3








no plans for this weekend you say?
we need to find something very exciting to do.. road tripping perhaps? hm. . not sure.. any ideas: comment them.




"he was a one-eyed
one-horned flyin' purple people eater."







<3
bella
 
     Read 2 - Post
 
   
07:12pm 31/08/2004
 
mood: cheerful
dropped sarah sue off at school

work

hello sushi (YUMMMMMMMMM)

worked

home

URBAN OUTFITTERS IS HERE!

online shopped at UO (spent 100 more $$)

i want to go to bed early tonight.

i want ice cream... but i shouldn't eat it

but i'm going to.. its lingering in the freezie.. fo sheazy..
^ew.- sorry. i had to do it








"oooh we're half way there
ooh
livin' on a prayer
take my hand
we'll make it i swear
ooh oh
livin' on a prayer"







tell me the favorite part of your day.*
















<3
haileybelle
 
     Read 5 - Post
 
hey pretty baby with the high heels on   
09:25pm 30/08/2004
 
mood: satisfied
happy birthday to you
happy birthday to you
happy birthday dear hailey
happy birthday to you.





-good birthday-

-grocery store
-strawberry shortcake cake
-made guacamole
-ali and gregums came over
-layed in bed
-mike and scott came over
-layed in bed
-slurpees
-made din
-fam came over and i made din
-ate din.. yum
-ice cream and cake.. yerm
-gifts
-called nick because i miss him





thanks
everyone
for
making
this
a
great
birthday
!




"just kiss me baby
and tell me twice
that you're the one for me."








<3




i'm 15
 
     Read 15 - Post
 
i'll stop the world and melt with you   
08:28pm 29/08/2004
 
mood: satisfied
went to urban outfitters today.. YUM

i spent $250 on nothing.. J-E-R-K-S.

bought a quilt, a jacket, 2 shirts, socks, lip balm, and shoes..

dined at the outback.. ate a LOT

came home to an excellent birthday present from sir nicholas.. <333 him

got home and put new clothes in closet and made my bed.. can't wait to sleep

tomorrow is my birthday.. please someone go to lunch with me or something..<3

i have a feeling my birthday might be unpleasant...i hope not



i'm going to go bubble bathe..
hopefully it shall improve my mood.


"when said that i <3 you
i meant that i'll <3 you forever"














<3
belle


i have to go to dinner with my effing grandma tuesday. damnit
 
     Read 7 - Post
 
lions and tigers and drug lords. OH MY!   
10:25pm 28/08/2004
 
mood: happy
woke up.
showered
chatted with roron
was lazy
ate
ironed clothing for the broha and myself
got ready
went to red feather game..
watched SV lose red feather game
got to see abbie, brittney, alex and laura
saw t-rav
missed nicholas
missed daniel
birthday= 1 day, 1 hour and 33 minutes
Urban Outfitters tomorrow..::quiver::






"i want to be with you
there's nothing more to say
there's nothing else i want more
than to feel this way."











<3
bella



"love me with your eyes."
 
     Read 5 - Post
 
"We could be heroes forever and ever."   
12:37am 28/08/2004
 
mood: lovely
The benefit show wasn't very beneficial.
Tiff for sure said out of the 280 (ish) people there was only like 275 dollars... SO lame. I hate it when people don't pay for things.. it's so immoral and rude.

-this canker sore is eating away at my
mouth.. it's extraordinarily painful

-the left side of my face is throbbing

-i felt like a groupie today because i wasn't aware see you next tuesday was playing.. and i wore the shirt. cute. gah!

-I got to see my best friend nicholas
today.. YES!

-chinese buffet =$9.00.. wtf. J-E-R-K-S

-rorik couldn't make it.. =the suck. it's
been too long.

-fight at jamestowne.. made emily and i
very nervous.. damn jenni's broha

-i had to miss See You Next Tuesday. suck

-sarah sue is spending the night.

-i have no curfew tonight and still i am
home early for curfew

- i need the dashboard CD.. anyone want
to burn me a birthday present..? <3

-Urban Outfitters SUNDAY.






"You stood at my door
with your hands on my waist
and an kissed me like you meant it
and i knew that you meant it
that you meant it.."































<3
belle
 
     Read 7 - Post
 
let's go fall in love   
07:00pm 26/08/2004
 
mood: headachey
well.. i havn't updated in a few days.. but here are some interesting things that have happened in te past few:

-hung out with matt and tony:
-glow sticks(when did they get expensive?)
-parks are fun at 2 in the morning
-texan nana splits are yum
-man.. i think i'm addicted to GS

-it's hard to break into my house
-hornet stings are ickbad

-online senior pictures are fun
-travis is pretty and he's a half-naked
hunter with mudd on his face. hahaha
-i need to purchase more granola
-hooters plans never work out
-blake is very nice
-pancakes are only good with green and
red sprinkles, powdered sugar,
$20 mulberry syrup, cocolate chips,
butter, and black frosting
-challa is darn yum

-heritage started school
-i miss sarah sue
-i go to work because sarah dosn't
enable me to go
-i miss chelso, gregums,ali, blaker,
alexon, sahara, mikelin and blaker
-i'll be lacking on football games this
season.. bad? i don't know

-my birthday is in 4 days.. UO is in 3

-you may eat pizza in McDonalds

-hailey's closet=organized

-being broke is the suck




"Passion, freedom and love
Sadness could hang by a noose
From my limbs of glory."
-tp




















<3
 
     Read 4 - Post
 
and i'm sure that you would notice   
02:47pm 22/08/2004
 
mood: morose
friday night:
-made chadwin crab cheese
-^^^ i hope he loved it.
-show with the lovely sarah
-chinese food with darling alison, jess, and lauren
-"food poisoning"
-why do they have chicken nuggets at a chinese buffet?
- chiodos bros owned the show.. best yet
-listened to hanson and LFO in the car on the way to pick up greg..
-texan with kenny, ali, greg, nick, william and blaker
-pancakes (J-E-R-K.)
-ali's.. painted our nails



saturday:
-8:45ish=home
-11:00ish= woke up
-went to sarah's
-walked to fuzzy's.eye see ee cream=Y-U-M!
-home with sarah sue
-texan with nick (BAKED POTATO=YES!!!)
-i less than three nick
-home.. baked cookies.. very tired
-sleep


today:
-awake
-baked cookies
-frosted nick onto a cookie
-pizza w/ mumsy and deanasaurous
-reading an excellent book....!
-lawn chair film fest later







"You look cute in your blue jeans
but you're plastic just like the rest...
dying to look smooth with your tattoos
but you're searching just like everyone.."

































<3
 
     Read 3 - Post
 
i am a thief (but not like greg)   
09:20pm 16/08/2004
  Hello my name is_______.
I ________ Hailey.
Hailey is _______.
Hailey and I are _______.
I wish Hailey and I were ______.
If I were alone in a room with Hailey, I would _______.
I want Hailey to know that I __________.
I think Hailey should _________.
Hailey needs to _________.
I want to ____________ Hailey.
Someday Hailey will ________.
Hailey reminds me of _______.
Without Hailey I would _______.
Memories of Hailey are ________.
Hailey can be __________.
The worst thing about Hailey is _________.
The best thing about Hailey is _________.
I am ________ with Hailey.




So.. I stole that from Shawn because i love him so.. and also because i think it looks very fun.. please indulge.




kiss





bella*
 
     Read 6 - Post
 
airbrush me a smile good sir, i seem to have lost mine along the way.   
12:51am 16/08/2004
 
mood: sad
ooh la la.
today was a good day.
today was a bad day.

Pros:
-woke up at 10:00=early=GREAT!
-made Nick a very nice birthday cookie
-had wavy hair
-saw meghan fink
-saw jeff and travis
-lawn chair film fest
-got a chai
-bought new blush
-spent time with nick
-spent quality time watching food network
-drank green tea
-picked up my room
-figure out the nick situation.. ish


Cons:
-stupid lady put ice cubes in hot chai when i clearly asked for a ICED chai
-the lawn/beach chair hated me
-i think my brother just got high
-i got locked out of the house.. AGAIN
-pictures aren't in yet
-spent 30 dollars of mom's money
-was uncomfortably cold for quite a while
-lawn chair film fest twas crowded
-"stopped" with nicholas
-i miss my madre
-my room needs to be cleaner
-i want to move into dean's. BADLY
-the green tea made my mouth VERY dry


























"And color the coast with your smile
It's
the
most
genuine
thing
i've
ever
seen
I was so lost, but now, I believe"
 
     Read 1 - Post